The Squeaky Wheel Gets Oiled
Enter the Loud American
The general saying in East Asia is “The nail that sticks out gets hammered back in.”
In contrast, the general saying in the Western World is “The squeaky wheel is the wheel that gets oiled.”
Take the United States for example - it is a nation that has a culture steeped in individualism. This comes as no surprise as the first Western European explorers who settled in the New World in the 15th century left their homes in search of new lives halfway across the world.
These “pioneers” encountered a plethora of hardships ranging from diseases to famines but persevered and kept their hopes alive to build a new society. So much so that they risked everything to maintain their independence and autonomy, fighting against Great Britain and winning the American Revolution.
A manifesto preserving individualism was created in the form of the Declaration of Independence, and gave birth to the Constitution of the United States, the world’s longest surviving written charter of government. One has to look no further than the Bill of Rights to understand how seriously Americans value their individualism - the very first amendment preserves every single person’s freedom of speech.
Throughout the generations, this culture of individualism has encouraged Americans to be outspoken, to fight for their beliefs, to be unique, and much like their forefathers, to be pioneers and revolutionaries in the form of inventors and entrepreneurs.
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
- Steve Jobs
From Henry Ford, to Thomas Edison, Amelia Earhart, Bob Dylan, Martin Luther King Jr., Muhammad Ali, Steve Jobs, and Elon Musk, there is a long list of world changing figures who share a common trait: that they were all radically different from each other, and from everyone else.
Thus it comes as no surprise that in a culture that promotes individuality, conformity is considered as mediocrity - a stark opposite of what Filial Piety preaches. Questioning everything is encouraged no matter who or what is being questioned, be it one’s teacher or one’s belief system. Children are expected to “leave the nest” and go explore the world independently. Staying in your parent’s house after graduation is a sign of failure, and there are infinite memes of “grown-ups” living in their parents’ basements. Women questioned their role in the “atomic family” and in society in general, starting the Woman’s Rights Convention that led to groundbreaking changes that reverberated, and are still reverberating centuries after.
These cultural expectations that exist in society are like the background echo of the Big Bang that proliferates throughout the universe: they are everywhere. They exist at home, when you see your parents and siblings, how they interact with each other and with you. They exist on the bus, train, or airplane when you travel. They exist at school, your workplace, and even at your place of worship if you are religious. And they certainly exist online, where social media accounts followed by millions of people not only proliferate but magnify the background echo.
Due to the pervasive nature of this background echo which we have been exposed to since we were children, it has been imbued and entrenched into us deeply and into our subconsciousness. Emotions are triggered from our subconscious, and many of us are not aware of this cycle and simply accept it as “the way things are.”
Take for instance a person who has an inherently shy personality - I’m not referring to an introvert which is a different characteristic - I’m talking about a shy person who by definition has a fear, not a mere dislike, of interacting with others.
This person growing up in Northeast Asia, let’s say in Japan, or any one of the Southeast Asian countries where Filial Piety is accepted as a cultural norm like in Singapore would feel a natural affinity to the “way things are.” One is not supposed to be loud, or go up to people and strike a conversation. Doing so would be considered rude.
Yet, the same person growing up in the United States may feel pressured as they may perceive a disadvantage compared to their naturally outgoing and gregarious friends and coworkers.
What dictates such sentiments? In this example, it is the background echo of culture in a society that is driving perception. The person is simply, the person: a human who is naturally shy.
Coming up, we will explore what happens when we move one level deeper and explore impacts to expectations when actual relationships with people are introduced, peeling off the outer layer of background influences.
➡️ Watch the accompanying YouTube video here:
➡️ Read the previous FoFty manuscript article here:
